Another hard week to get through.

It seems like when it rains it pours. I feel like I am writing these posts so often . . . but we are going to endure. This past week has been just as trying as the one we had last summer. It all started with the stress of Cory leaving suddenly after being home from the last trip for 3 days-- a week and half ago-- as he always does. First there was Canden . . . he was fevered and really unsettled all the time and then one day I noticed a bump on his mouth and he was screaming . . . I thought it was just from his bottle but then the next morning it blew up into a huge cold sore on his mouth. Seriously, the poor thing was miserable. Well, now 10 days later, antibiotics, lots of blood and sterilizing everything-- it is healing over and almost gone. So he has been on meds for that . . . then Araleigh got hit with a fever and belly aches (around the same time) . . and during those few days I started getting sick with a head cold and severe sore throat. For me it felt like mono or something cuz I had NO energy-- I was seriously like in sedation all the time. But us mothers keep on keeping, right? Well about 5 days ago Araleigh started getting really sick--- scratching her bottom and screaming all night from it bugging her . . . then the signs of a recurring UTI came about and the screaming and peeing the bed started again. So off to the doctor we go, yep this is UTI #3 or 4 in the last 10 months. Which is bad for little girls-- so the diagnosis is that we are having to do a VUCG on Wednesday-- which is they place a cathetar in her and check her kidneys and such. The terrible part is that she is awake and we get to hold her down during it all, joy. I have been told by everyone who has done this that it is the worst thing to see your child through . . .so I am really just uneasy about it-- not to mention an emotional mess about everything else- this won't help. Cory wasn't going to be home for it still but I am making him drive home the night before. I shouldn't have to endure everything one my own. Anyways, so we have been treating her for the two days and then she started itching again-- so now we are treating her for a yeast infection. UGH. On top of that we took Canden to the doctor today for his urology appt . . . and he is scheduled for his surgery in 3 wks. Now I am so sick with stress, a head cold and my back went out again. I cannot pick anything up and can barely walk . . . so this week really has been a living hell. And I am on my own-- no help. I almost feel stupid asking anyone for help because I feel like people just get annoyed. But Cory called his dad tonight and they came over and gave Araleigh and I a blessing, which always helps. Now if I can endure this last week of hell before Cory comes home on the night of her procedure. I need prayers.

Sleeplessness

Well, it is like one in the morning and I cannot sleep. I have so much going on in my head right now I can't settle down and sleep. I feel like I am finally coming to grips with my reality. I am not sure what trials will come forth in the coming months --- but for once in a long time, on this night I am at peace. Cory and I have really been trying to figure out why we haven't found any true answers to our prayers lately. It seems like we haven't had feelings one way or another about the decisions we are trying to make. . which has become extremely frustrating. I read in the Ensign an article that really helped me-- I am not sure which one it was but it stated something like "Ponder in your MIND and after you have sought out the questions and answers in your mind-- then ask of Him and he will give you the warmth guidance you need". . .thats a sum cuz I can't remember it all. But I am really trying to figure this out. Cory is so close to uprooting our family to foreign territory (on my end) and I am really getting nervous about it. . . so I am truly hoping for an answer soon and maybe that article will help me to know how to get the answers we need. But i am at peace knowing that I know it will work out.

I have to write, my daughter has now accomplished saying prayers with absolutely no help. Let me just say, her prayer tonight brought me to tears-- and I am not sure why. She looked up at me confused after she said amen because I had tears flowing. Mostly it was the sweetness of her little voice saying such sweet words but some was that I was so amazed of how imperfect and inadequate I often feel of my mothering and trying to instill certain principles in my children-- tonight I felt like even though I am otherwise inadequate at times, I felt like I succeeded in this moment. I am so not sure why it moved me so--- but it did. I always have been moved by children who bear their little testimonies and pray in their cute little voices. But it truly is a different experience when it is your children who are expressing those words. How sweet it is to be a mother of a daughter of God.

Cory is once again gone for a week--- and we have had a lot of sickness in our home so it has been hard this go around with him gone. But yesterday I had a moment when Canden was sleeping and Araleigh and I didn't feel good... she came and layed on me while we watched the Princess and the Frog. It was bittersweet for me. It's not often now that she does this because she is so busy all the time. I truly took in those moments of holding my little girl. The next years are going to fly by and I am truly trying to take hold of the little moments to cherish. I cannot imagine life without my kids. I know I state this all the time--- but someday when they read this I want them to know how I feel about them. The last year has been such a bumpy and ugly journey for me-- but yet in those ugly and low times it seems like I have had some incredible experiences as well. The times that I was so down and ready to give up--- some incredible things would happen, like a new son who is such an amazing little man . . . or a daughter saying her prayers and asking to read scriptures. I am not sure if I am coming out of my low but I am realizing that through all the bad--- there is so much good. I love my family and I miss my husband. Someday life will have normalcy for us. . . oh how I can't wait for the day when Cory goes to work and then comes home at the end of the day and we are just living life--- not trying to create one. Someday. But for now . . . my goal: patience.

Quick jaunt to Washington

Well, we had a sudden call late Monday night stating that my brother-in-law needed Cory's help for a show having to do with the windmills. . . and Cory stated "I am bringing my family then." Hung up the phone and said "honey, pack your bags we are leaving for Washington." So we spent Tuesday tying up things we needed to get done--- and left Wednseday morning. So here I am sitting in Washington and my sister-in-laws home. Cory has been doing the fair-- but we have had quite a few good times out in the short time we have been here. Lacey ALWAYS has a babysitter on call --- so we have gone out 3 times in the 4 nights we have been here. haha Its been somewhat therapeutic to get out so much at night! The first night I joined her and her friends to the movie to see "the Last Song". Great movie, hot guy--- terrible Miley Cyrus. I seriously wanted to jump through the screen and GLUE her pouting lips to her teeth. Drove me nuts. Almost like she got a shot of botox right before filming. But truly it was worth seeing because the story was amazing and so was the rest of the acting. The next night was just a lazy-- at home night then last night we went out to dinner at Roosters. It was really yummy. Of course while we are here Cory has to hit every SINGLE hometown favorite of his . . . mission now accomplished! Anyways, then today we went Zaney's for dinner and to Date Night -- the movie . . aka FUNNIEST MOVIE I HAVE SEEN IN FOREVER. Of course there was a bit of racey scenes and one "F" bomb (of course they have to throw in their "legal" ONE f-word per capita. IDIOTS. Anyways, but we were DYING of laughter the whole time. Could be the funniest pg-13 movie I have seen yet. I would go to it again and again cuz it was so dang funny. So anyways, long story shortened up--- we've had a good time spending time with the family. Well, I guess I should say "me". The kids are starting to get into the fighting mode though --- as all do after a long stay . ..but apparently we still have a few more days for Cory to ty things up. Hopefully he can get it all done and I get to come home WITH my husband and not WITH my nephew (who is coming up to BYU Thursday.) It seems like EVERY trip Cory takes starts at a week and ends up being three. Only this time its us that is getting catered around---- so we can't be a nuisance to my sister in law for too long. The more I am up here though the more I am coming to grips with the reality of us moving up this way. I am not sure if I am fully prepared but I am trying to get my mind frame that way . . . because it is looking more and more possible. We will see what our future holds--- I am just really hoping that we can get through the next year while we are figuring out what the heck we are going to do with our lives and where we are going to be taken. As for the kids--- well, Araleigh and Preston have been allied turds together. Getting into everything-- we turn our back and they are into someones something. As for the babies-- well they fight just as much. Well, its more like-- as soon as Canden is put on the floor, Parker SPEED crawls over to him pushes him down and either lays on him or all but stands up on him .... and Canden just sits there and cries while Parker smiles and shows off those pearly whites (as seen in the above photo. lil stinkers!) ! It's really pretty dang funny to see it unfold-- EVERY TIME poor Canden is seen on the floor. They are both pretty happy babies though so even though they may attack each other-- at least we get some cute smiles out of them in between. Araleigh and Preston got into heaps of trouble . . . seriously--- there were almost fires started, onion powder baths, food coloring art on the garage floor, too much sugar and pop and just non stop trouble. Araleigh had a blast though which is all that matters!

Easter

Man, time goes by so quickly that I will think I updated-- then a week or three goes by. Geez.

Well, Easter this year was fun. It was very private for our family this year--- which was a first. We usually get together and have a loud, screaming time with the cousins coloring eggs and stuffing our faces. Not this year. Because this year Easter fell on the busiest weekend ever we had to do things on our own time. Easter decided to be our "anniversary" weekend-- not to mention it is also Conference weekend. SO ... we had a lot of "squeezing in" to do. We decided to get all of the coloring out of the way on Thursday night. So we just randomly at like 7 pm decided to boil 3 dozen eggs and by 10 pm we finally made Araleigh put down the paint brush and stickers and go to bed. She had SO MUCH FUN though. Canden just sat there as always not knowing what the heck was going on-- and was pretty much a stinker when mom wasn't at his beck and call. Easter Sunday we got up --- got the cameras and went and woke up the kids . . . it was fun. I always love the holidays--- then we got to sit and listen to some truly wonderful talks. After the first session we took off to the Arnolds for Easter dinner and had time to eat--- get stuffed and then sit down and relax to conference. It amazes me how almost EVERY time the final session hits--- so does everyones heads onto pillows.... only to perk up real fast on the final message from the Prophet. hahaha. I can't wait to get the Ensign next month though to go over what I missed--- I know there was a lot of stuff I need to hear. It was a good weekend and mostly because we were together. I am so grateful for Christ and this Easter season. His sacrifice for me and my family is the reason we can be together forever. I can't wait to be able to see Him again and with love in my heart thank Him for making it so I can return back to Heaven Father and be with the people whom are dearest to me . . my family.

Where did the past 6 six years go?

Yes, it is official. I have been married for SIX short years. I cannot believe how time has passed by so fast. Cory and I have now been inseperable for 9.5 years and married for 6 of them. Completely insane if you ask me. In the past six years we have found faith, sorrow, accomplishments, loss, and most importantly love. Our children have become the best part of our marriage and I cannot imagine them any other way. Cory and I have been through everything--- and all of it has been together. We found our faith again together, we received our Patriarichal Blessings together which was the most amazing and uplifting experience to be able to share that together, we experience the endowment and sealing together, we have been poor and been some what well off together, and most importantly we have begun an eternal family together. Life has brought so many challenges in our little lives but I have found as I look around me all I see is that I have to take the good with the bad. . . as does he. I am so grateful for the childrent that have been brought to our home and have found that my kids carry so many traits that they have received from their dad . . and remind me of why I married him. Cory has never failed to make me laugh, even when I am so mad I want to punch him-- he still can make me laugh-- which often makes me madder... but its the main reason why I fell for him. He has always been the life of the party and always has something to say. I am not this way-- I would rather hide in the background and not talk just observe. So he helps me to be more confident. He is a good dad, whether it looks as so or not. He truly does help me when he is home. Araleigh absolutely adores him and I love to witness the bond that they have. I am most grateful for the Priesthood in my life. We are all not perfect--- but I do know that I have a worthy husband who tries so hard to do what is right. He makes me want to be a better person--- because we all have weaknesses. But because of him and his example and want to do good-- it helps me to try and be the best I can be. Everytime we are in the Temple I feel so much more closer to him. All our worries and sorrows are left at the door and we can think of our family and being together forever. I am grateful for this . . . I know that we are suppose to be together and I know that through good times and bad - - - we will endure.