10/17/2014
It's almost 3 am . .. and its one of those nights. Can't sleep. So I decide to look at old pictures on
FB. Note to self : pictures can be a trigger. Thanks anxiety for making things worse. Someday I
hope to be able to look at specific time periods of my life an enjoy the beauty in the actual
pictures instead of the situations that surrounded those times that resulted in much pain. I
know now that I can find comfort in the now and how incredibly blessed I am to have these
beautiful souls in my life.
I am sitting here in my bed . . . with my sweet Canden sprawled out sleeping peacefully next
me. Knowing morning is near and I will be exhausted tomorrow. But all I keep thinking of is the
past week. Araleigh turned eight years old. I cannot believe it. Just yesterday I had my sweet full
black haired bundle of joy snuggling up to me in my arms. Now we almost wear the same shoe
size. Tonight I am reflecting on her delicate life. So many obstacles she has endured and
overcome. I only hope that I can continue to TRY and become a solid foundation for her to fall
back on when it is needed. She was baptized this past week. What a great experience. I do not know what her experience was that day only that she said she was so warm in the water. But I will tell mine. I was such a nervous wreck having to get up to do the spotlight for her. I almost caved. I
have such awful anxiety about being in front of people. But I did it and hopefully didn’t sound too terrible. When we went into the Relief society room and it was time . . . . as I stood at the side of the baptismal faunt waiting with a towel for her to come out. I watch as my husband baptized our daughter. As she went under the waters of baptism I felt the most overwhelming warmth surround me and it brought me to tears. Not only has my sweet baby girl been born again through baptism . . . she has been wiped clean of all sin. My heart is heavy tonight realizing that she not only is starting over . . . . but she is free of all wrongs done to her. I am comforted tonight of this as I have pondered this. The spirit is in her . . . and she will do great things.
